“This letter is a toned down and a less profane version of the original, due to obvious ethical reasons.”
To whom it may concern.
I am writing this letter in reference to the excellent service Pakistan Telecommunication Company Limited (PTCL) has been providing me with.
First of all, I thank you explicitly from the bottom of my heart for being so ignorant and unhindered by my complaints.
Through this letter, my first and foremost request is that you get a 100 feet high, steel plate on your company’s main entrance and engrave the letters, “Ignorance is Bliss” on it as it would be fitting for an honest first impression of your company and what you, at PTCL, stand for.
While I was waiting on hold for one of your “Customer Representatives” one day, so that he can take me through the never-ending, dreadfully-monotonous, protocols of complaint registration and then maybe, just maybe tell me why I don’t deserve a stable, normal Internet connection, just like everybody else on planet earth has.
As I waited and waited, I had time to think. You know, an hour and a half on the phone listening to automated voice messages can get you pretty bad in the head.
Anyway, so I started thinking. I started asking myself questions, like why have I allowed myself to be humiliated and looted like that? Questions like, I pay my bills on time, why is it that, half the time I barely get half of what I pay for, and the other half; I spend calling and complaining at your oxymoron of a corporation known as PTCL?
At first, I accept, I was lying to myself. I tried to fool myself by playing the whole “It’s our national corporation” angle. But that, unfortunately as we all know, never works out.
Secondly I confess, PTCL was offering the best speed at the cheapest price, at least that’s what you were (falsely) claiming.
Apart from being cheap, we Pakistanis, or should i say people from the Sub-Continent, are also mentally conditioned to accept humiliation and ridicule at the hands of “big corporations” (e.g East India Company). So it’s only natural for us to jump at the first most cheapest service or product we can find, buy it and then live with it for the rest of our life. So what if it never really works like it is supposed to? It’s CHEAP silly!
So coming back to the complaint call, as I tried my best to phase out the annoying lady whose automated voice message kept telling me, repeatedly, about new promotions PTCL is offering -to probably leech more money out of me- it hit me; it was simple. Thanks to you, PTCL, I found the answer to my questions and with that, the solution to my problem.
The answer was the absence of a spine, in my body. See I had a choice, and the choice was to kick PTCL where it might not hurt now, but it would, down the road one day.
So now, I am a happy Wateen user. Sure, I hate the Arabs for charging me more than you dacoits at PTCL; despite being so filthy rich. But they know of a thing called integrity. Integrity of the business and of its customer, I happen to like that more than I like money.
So dear PTCL, I say good bye to you and wish you no luck in your future endeavors, what so ever.
At the height of insincerity,
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