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Thursday 22, August 2019



Eid spelled backwards is – DIE!

By: Agha Majid, Uploaded: 1st November 2012

“POP!” goes the bottle – along with some remembrance of the night.

So yes it was Eid – as much as I pretend not to care about it – somehow one ends up well giving his two pennyworths.

I was out the whole night prior to the ‘holy day’. Indulging in any vice available – as per my routine, I – in simpleton lingo – was hanging in the streets of Karachi.

Got back home pretty late, decided to read and have some pleasant music playing in the back ground. Consequently, I killed the major of witch’s hours instead of sleeping peacefully – turning off the crown machine.

My toes move – once, twice, thrice; it’s my ‘home-mates’ or my beloved family – oh yes – waking me up; home was crowded, this time of year. I knew it would be – its like a naturally autonomous expectancy meter.

As I rise from the aforementioned dramatic wakening, I try walking to the washroom. Oh things get hazy and balance compromised.

I take a hold of my self, smile – just tell them it’s not necessary, my presence – so humble and petite – in this grand festival of theirs.

They seem to understand my half-wit humour in the early hours…

Walking in, I grab with all my mightiest strengths to the washbasin – like grabbing Michael’s sword.

Inspection – my eyes they still remain bloodshot; but overall no real harm done – can surely pass the pearly gates awaiting me – I suspect just to mock me now.

Okay, so I will just put on this black Kurta – Jeans instead of shalwars? – good enough.

Oh so every one is gathered at the breakfast table – it is much similar to the parliamentary seatings. Discussing, rather criticizing everything in sight and towards the end shrugging everything off with laughter.

I am then told, to change the lower half of my apparel – its not right – To avoid any brewing traps of holiday misfortune; I comply and comment,

“There I fulfilled another one of your faith’s holy duty.”

I could have qouted a hadith – that supports my decision to wear a cleanly washed pair of jeans for the awaited duty; but I felt rather compassionate.

Okay here we are, I am greeted by the mischievous and mocking smiles of the mosque attendants. I am notorious that way – albeit I know not why.

Ah my bones creak, I fail to feel the holy presence in these mundane work outs. I believe there are better ways to sense that magical presence – note, if there is any – in the universe.

Nonetheless, its healthy? – So apparel? Check! Religious/Social obligations? Check! Mass animal slaughter blood show? In Progress.

Its funny, how social classes are discriminated by what breed of animals they buy.. who is the better goat fashionista!

I guess it does enriches one with the ‘cultural aesthetics’ – I’d like to believe so.

Okay Check! – Make way back home; continue small talk with bloodkins.

Knock! Once, Twice, Thrice!

“Eid Mubarak!”, the echoes – oh they travel back and forth in my head. I guess I ‘overly hanged’ – hinting towards the occurrences of the lovely night before.

We meet and great – and well – Eat!

I see everyone has now reclined to slumber – time to slip in a morning smoke.

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Story first published: 1st November 2012






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