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Thursday 28, May 2015



New Years – celebratory hardships!

By: Agha Majid, Uploaded: 31st December 2012

So new years eve was just around the corner and like any other fellow debauchee I had plans for the night. I was supposed to meet a few friends at a private party hosted in a subarban area of the city. All was well till our precious government decided to intervene in this festive of times.

First news that hit the circuit was that all public places would be shut down by 10:00 pm, okay things still weren’t that bad – we decided to go the beach, have a little bonfire and spend the night there – BAM! Turns out all the beaches were to be closed. It still wasn’t half bad, we had other options we could go for; after all our wise government sure must have had its reasons, right?

I called up few of my acquintances, discussed the whole predicament and reached to a conclusion! Each one of us was to grab our preferred  ‘poisons’ and meet up at a friend’s place. Wait a minute! Now all the petrol pumps were to be shut down by 3 pm. Now, things were a tad bit frustrating, there’s only so much one could deal with! We spent the next hour cursing the state of the country which escalated into a heated discussion about our leaders, religious lunatics and uncontrollable raging libido of our fellow men.

As our anger subdued we hastily went to the market, bought half a kilo of peanuts and proceeded to the nearest queue of cars lined up at the petrol station. 20 mins, 30, an hour! – Atlast it was our turn! we got the fuel tank filled.

Now the neighbourhood where our host – friend – lived was sealed and about 500 extra policemen were stationed all over the place to ensure a ‘peaceful’ environment. Given the smart intuition that we possess on  all things bad, we thought of gathering all the necessary supplies for the night.

It took us about 3 hours to round up everything and before we knew it – it was already 6 o’ clock. We were a group of 4 by then, call it our foolishness but we forgot to let everyone know that the party had been moved to our said friend’s place. I had to make a run back home, so I could pickup ‘certain’ things and change out of my formal attire and I did so.

Now its 7 pm, we re in the car, making our way to our destination. Call it sheer bad luck, I couldn’t remember which street my friend lived in, no problem I took my phone out to call him – F#@! – no reception. I won’t make this sound redundant, but once again we were outsmarted by the ‘man’.

The ‘man’ – who blocks cell phone services without any prior notice, the very epitome of corruption. A snake in a human form, with cruel dictatorship running down his fangs, sporting a beard longer than an ass’ shlong, all the while praying to the lord, his son and the holy ghost. Its 11:59 pm now, I am sitting in my room alone, venting my rage at the keyboard. 3,2,1 – Happy new years – we miserably sucummbed to this oppression, the guys who were with me in the car, are still with me.

One of them has just lost it and is just rocking to and fro, shouting obscenities, the other one passed out and the 3rd… well lets just say has developed a strong liking towards one of our leading political party and plans on enlisting.

I guess ill just end this and watch some trashy films, rub one out and wait till sleep finally comes knocking on my mental doors.

“The requested URL could not be retrived”

Oh right we don’t even have any risque entertainment at our disposal, they blocked that too. I think ill just go kill myself now.

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Story first published: 31st December 2012






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